Less Than Perfect
by Catharsis MCD
Summary: The Diary of Mary Sue's Little Sister.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Hogwarts, or any of the Characters of the Books. These are all the original creations of J.K. Rowling. Please note, I have no beta, and I will never have the patience to edit all of this. Sorry!**

_A.N. This all started as essentially a joke between my friend and I. We had been reading some of those Mary Sue mocking parodies, and wondered what it would be like to write the story from the view point of Mary Sue's little sister (we were at a competition in Raleigh, and a little bored). You may notice, however, that Maggie Finch seems to have developed a mind of her own, and hence the story has evolved into the story of her life, which happened to be plagued by Mary Sue. _

Less Than Perfect: The Diary of Mary Sue's Little Sister.

8/12/1996

Dear Diary,

I know that I received you over a month ago, but I have never kept a diary before and am not quite accustomed to the idea of pouring my heart out into a book. I am always afraid that somebody will find this and read it. If you are reading this right now, stop. I promise you, there is nothing interesting here.

Well, I suppose Mother was right, it is curious that I've never kept a diary before, as I've been writing all my life. I feel so much safer writing in poetry, because even if someone makes fun of me for it, they will never understand it.

Mum says she needs my help chopping vegetables, and she wont let me delegate to Thomas, so I shall have to continue later.

Now, where to hide you?

8/14/1996

Well Diary, I've returned, now what am I to write in you? My name is Marjorie Finch, but you can call me Maggie. My mother always favored French names, but I've not a drop of French in me, and I even failed when I attempted to learn the language in grammar school. Ah well.

It does feel awkward, trying to write about myself. I mean really, what am I to say? I could tell you that I am fifteen years old now, but you were my birthday gift in June, so surely you know that. I have a little brother, Tom, who is ten years old, and an elder sister, Cecily Ambre, who I intend to speak no more of here, and who is seventeen years old and terribly wicked. Let us see then…I could tell you that I attended the Ambleton grammar school until I was ten years old, before starting at Hogwarts the following fall.

I think that's all for now Diary. I am becoming convinced that you shall be my dear friend, and I will return when I've thought of something to write about.

8/25/1996

Hello again, Diary. It's nearly midnight, and my sister has not yet returned home. She's been out on a date all night, and guess who she's out with? Brian Maccavoy!

I know that this means nothing to you diary, but I have fancied Brian all summer! He is a seventeen year old muggle and is terribly handsome, and his sensitivity is relfected in his rather large blue eyes. And she knew I fancy him! She still knows! And yet, she still asked him to the cinema with her tonight!

I could kill her for all the boys she's stolen from me.

My first boyfriend was a boy named Drake that asked me to the summer carival when I was thirteen. We had hardly been there for an hour, and he nearly jumped off the ferris wheel to get a better look at her.

The second boy, who I went to a concert with, fell head over heels in love with her when he saw her dancing drunkenly to the muggle band that was playing.

The third one was completely and utterly her fault. It truly was, she marched right up to him and kissed him beneath the mistletoe while we were home on Holiday. She told me later that she was "just testing" him for me.

He was even a year too young for her.

I desperately wish that I could do magic while home on vacation to reveal to Brian that Cecily really is a witch, but my friend Luna tells me that if you use magic outside of school the ministry will send its army of crabsters after you.

Perhaps I'll just show him all the empty bottles of bleach instead.

8/29/1996

Once more, my home is a madhouse as we busy about preparing to return to Hogwarts. I can hardly imagine how next year will be, when Tom will be starting his first year of School. As for myself, I will be starting my fifth year, and Mrs. Cecily, who insisted on purchasing all new dress robes today, will be starting her sixth. Buying robes for Cecily is no short affair, after she spends hours finding the perfect color, she has them all tailored so that they fit her perfectly about the waist. And has the neckline brought down, of course. Cecily is in Gryffindor, though I've no idea why. Sorting her must have been terribly amusing if they called out her whole name, which is quite long. Despite the good name that her house gets, I prefer the company of my own house, Ravenclaw. It's almost impossible to have a half intelligent conversation with anyone else, the Hufflepuff girls are always falling over some boy or another while the Gryffindor girls are always going on about Harry Potter and quidditch.

Diary, please don't tell, but I've always wished that I could play quidditch too. I tried out for bloody close to every position during both my second and third year, and I never made it. I suppose it was simply not meant to be.

I'm not ready for summer to be over.

Sweet Dreams, Diary.

_**To be continued…**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. You know that. If I did own him, God knows what I would do with him.**

9/1/1996

I've just barely caught the Hogwarts express! It took so long to load all of the baggage, very little of which was mine, into the trunk of our car that we nearly missed it!

Cecily is already off with a group of very popular seventh years. I do wonder what she will do when she _is _a seventh year, and there is no one above her to hang out with.

I think I see Luna! Oh, I have missed her so much!

9/3/1996

I have only had two days of actual classes, and already I can tell that it will be an incredibly stressful year. My sister said that OWL year would be as easy as any other, but my professors don't seem to think so!

Already I cannot wait for the weekend, it it eleven O'clock at night and I've still a good hour or so of charms homework that I should be doing.

I suppose it's good bye for now, diary!

9/4/1996

Friday at last! I haven't so much as glanced at one of my school books since putting them away. All in all my classes are more or less enjoyable. Luna and I are in Charms together, and Ginny Weasley sits on my other side. She's quite a nice girl, and she flies very well, I've considered asking her if she could help me learn as well. Luna seems to be almost good friends with her, but I didn't know that they had ever met. Apparently they had some in depth encounter last year, but Luna adopts this mysterious gleam in her eye whenever I ask her about it, so I'm still in the dark.

I should be having all the fun in the world now that the weekend is here, but instead I think I shall take a nap.

9/7/1996

Diary, you must promise never to tell anyone what I am about to tell you. Never!

History of magic used to be one of the most boring classes imaginable, in fact, I've only survived this long by passing notes with the people in class that will talk to me. But today I noticed this handsome boy that sits diagonally in front of me. He passed me a note that he intended for me to pass to the boy behind me, and in doing so he flashed me one of the most lovely smiles. His name is Michael Corner, and he has adorable chestnut hair. I'm not usually quite so giddy over a nice looking boy, I usually only like him if he proves to be very intelligent or clever, so why do I fancy him so much?

9/9/1996

I saw him in class again today, but we didn't speak. I hope that I was able to absord most of professor Binn's lecture through the back of Michael's head.

9/9/1996 (later)

I've just returned from dinner, and guess who I just saw Cecily Ambre talking to. No, not Michael, thank God, she was flirting loudly with Harry Potter, who looked like a lovesick little fish dangling from the end of her line, unaware that he was losing oxygen by the second. Cecily certainly has a knack for always picking the right time to wear a push up bra. She went on about how she's related to one of the four Hogwarts founders, she's almost certain it's Gryffindor. She even said something to the effect of being the first in his line to possess some sort of gift from his blood.

I think the only "gift" she can speak of is staring right out of her low hemmed robes.

Technically, we are related to Hufflepuff, if you go through two marriages, but from that sort of distance we might as well be related to half the wizards in the school.

I think I saw about fifty girls who did _not _look happy.

9/11/1996

Alright, I am actually _in_ History of Magic, perhaps professor Binns thinks I'm simply taking notes for once. I am staring pathetically at the back of his head again, he actually spoke to Professor Binns earlier, asking him to elaborate on the Goblin Rebellion. He does sound very intelligent, I am considering writing him a note, but my nerve is holding me back. Beside, what would I say?

9/13/1996

Ginny has invited Luna and I to play sort of a mock quidditch game on the grounds with her and her friends after school! And Michael Corner will be there as well! We're all going to fly about for fun and help her practice, then we will sit by the lake and drink cool pumpkin juice that Dean Thomas will nick from the kitchens. I've one class left before I'm off for the weekend.

Oh, Diary, I am so excited!

9/14/1996

Yesterday was wonderful! Michael and I talked for about five minutes, during which he explained a lot of the quidditch techniques to me. He plays on the house team, and I assured him that I would be watching for him at the first match.

Ginny really is splendid at flying, Dean was teasing her and soaring about so that she could chase him like a quaffle. They really are adorable together.

I think I'm finally ready to tell Luna about how much I like Corner.

9/15/1996

I don't think that I have ever felt my heart sink lower in my stomach.

I told Luna that I think I fancy Michael, and asked if there was any chance Ginny could help me get to know him better. Well, as it turns out Ginny dated him for most of Her fourth year, and they broke up shortly after the last quidditch match. Somehow they remained with the same group of friends, but they've not been on very good terms for months.

Ginny would probably never forgive me if she so much as caught me looking at him. Diary, what am I to do?

9/16/1996

I have never seen Ginny so angry in my life, and no, It wasn't about Michael.

Tonight at dinner, Cecily Ambre was all over Ron, Ginny's brother, swooning on about how she has been playing quidditch all her life, and could help him out a bit if he wanted to work with her privately. I don't think Ron heard a word she said, he was practically drooling up at her through pitiful little puppy eyes.

You see Diary, most people tend to find my sister very attractive. Although we're sisters, it seems that she managed to get some kind of Veela magic in her, which makes me wonder if my parents were entirely faithful to each other before I came along. Her hair is long, lovely, and bleached blonde and it compliments her brilliant blue eyes that I have always been envious of. My hair started out blonde, but it darkened as I grew older and has evened out at sort of a sandy brown. My eyes have always been green, and while I have always thought them sort of pretty in their own right, they pale in comparison to her blue ones. Still, she is alluring beyond any mortal girl. This has probably taken years off of my father's life.

9/18/1996

She did it again, totally unaware that Ron's little sister was just down the table.

Well this time Ginny marched right up to her and screamed at her about what she thinks she's doing and the like before pulling Ron off by his collar. She probably dragged him up to the Gryffindor common room, because I haven't been able to find her anywhere. Before she left there was just enough time for Cecily to fix me with the iciest of glares before I hurried off myself.

She looks angry with me, but what did _I _do?

9/21/1996

It doesn't seem to me that Ron has been listening to Ginny at all. I was down at the lake with Luna, Ginny, who I still have not told about Michael, Michael, Dean and a few other Gryffindors, as has become our Friday routine. Then Cecily Ambre ventured down as well, accompanied by Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, and a very unpleased looking girl with Bushy brown hair. She seems to have become very good friends with them in the weeks that she's been here, she seems to have realized that she'll be running out of upper classmen soon, and for all the gossip those three have drawn to themselves in the years since I've been here, I'm not surprised she chose them.

You see, the dark haired boy, Harry Potter, has a knack for getting himself into trouble. His parents were murdered by Lord Voldemort when he was very young, and he has had several dangerous encounters with him since. My second year there was even a serial killer out to get him, who he is said to have confronted one evening toward the end of the year.

I could go on forever, but it's time for bed. Good night, Diary.

9/26/1997

Luna turned the head of Gryffindor house' pin cushin into a live porcupine right on top of her desk today! It was quite funny.

9/27/1996

It seems Cecily Ambre can turn pin cushions to porcupines too. And her bag into a rabbit, a desk into a boar, herself into a cat…

Only she was awarded fifty points to Gryffindor for it.

9/28/1996

I spoke to Michael again tonight, but I really want things to move a bit more quickly. I still have not told Ginny.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't be going to work shops that give you advice on how to pay for college. I would be rich and I would aim to eliminate poverty in several countries. Yup.**

10/2/1996

Well, Ginny and I were on our way outside for a walk on the grounds after classes, but we were stopped in our tracks on the front steps by a road block. This "road block" was breathing and nauseating and took the form of my sister sobbing into the folded arms of Harry Potter. Ginny and I waited about the door, and listened to Cecily choke on about her tortured past to Harry, cooing in sympathy. He did not look entirely unpleased to be there either. Her tale was the one that she uses on nearly every guy, to explain either why she rejects or throws herself at them. She's been heartbroken ever since the death of her first true love, who died tragically in a muggle car accident. She tried valiantly to save him, and held him as he took his last breaths.

I nearly scoffed for laughter.

I should mention that Cecily Ambre's "first love" was in the first grade. And yes, he was involved in a swerving car incident that startled him into falling off his bicycle, but he only broke his arm and sustained no lasting injuries before moving out of state a month later.

Still, she sobs.

The odd part was that when I looked over at Ginny, she was braced against a wall and looked as if she was choking down sobs as well. At first I thought that she believed my sister's story, and almost laughed, but she shook her head and said it wasn't that before walking numbly away, presumably back up to her common room.

I'm not quite sure what was the matter, it was almost as if she fancied Harry, but I always thought she seemed quite happy with Dean.

Then again it wouldn't be the first time that Cecily Ambre has broken someone's heart.

10/4/1996

Cecily can transform _herself_ so easily into a cat that she might as well be an animagus.

I hear that she offered to tutor the girl that is always with Harry and Ron (whose name, I now know, is Hermione,) and she apparently did not take kindly to the offer. Apparently Hermione is top of her class, and my sister is surpassing her in transfiguration.

10/10/1996

You cannot believe the nerve of my sister! Alright, well I was in history of magic again, in the midst of a very pleasant day dream I might add, and I felt this whisp weave about my ankles. I looked down, and what were staring at me but the crystal blue eyes of a slender black cat! Surely you can figure for yourself who the cat was. She blinked at me and pranced about for a few moments before scampering out of the class!

She has an awful amount of nerve, thinking that she can come and go from any class as she pleases.

10/11/1996

Cecily knows. About Michael.

She cornered me after lunch today and told me that she noticed I was staring at him yesterday. I must say, she is an excellent legilemens, I had no choice but to confess. She says that I should do something about it, and that she will be talking to me again tonight after dinner.

Damn.

10/11/1996 (later)

Cecily Ambre is actually being a help for once! As it turns out, the next Hogsmeade trip is planned just before this Halloween, and she suggested I ask him to go with me!

I told her that I could never possibly be brave enough, and besides, Ginny might slaughter me, but Cecily said that she will talk to him for me! She can be very charming, so I'm sure it will go over perfectly!

She's planning to ask him tomorrow, and despite how nervous I am I can hardly breathe for excitement.

10/12/1996

Tonight is the night!

10/12/1996 (later)

Cecily Ambre Giselle Aurora Madeleine Julliette Finch is the bloodiest, most awful, terrible witch ever to set foot in Hogwarts.

Well, she spoke to Mr. Michael Corner. According to Luna, she simply asked him if he was planning to attend to Hogsmeade trip and when he said yes, offered him some company. _Her _company. What she told me was that he was just so taken with her that she would have felt terribly guilty for turning him down, but that's rubbish. You'll excuse me if I'm taking Luna's word over Cecily's at the moment.

And she did this right as they were over by the lake, so Ginny knows now, and I've yet to face her.

I've been crying for the past hour, but fortunately it's been only Luna and I in the common room, as everyone else has been about enjoying their Friday.

Fortunately. Hah. I don't fancy myself saying that word again anytime soon.

10/13/1996

It was difficult to wake up this morning, and I'm not even out of bed yet. I am dreading the Moment I next run into Cecily Ambre. Or Ginny. Or Michael Corner.

10/15/1996

I really wish that Corner would just come to dinner at the same time as Cecily Ambre one day. Perhaps if he saw how she swoons over Harry Potter (the same way she did over Cedric, the same way she did over Krum…) he would be a bit discouraged.

10/16/1996

Alright, it's Tuesday morning, and I've completely given up on Michael. I walked right past him in the common room last night and did not so much as respond to his "hello." I feel quite proud of myself as a matter of fact.

Tomorrow I have History of Magic with him, and that shall be the real test.

As for now, I stonily avoided looking at Ginny all through Charms yesterday, but I could tell she was eyeing me. I'm going to ask her if she wants to take a walk on the grounds this evening where I can explain everything much better than my sister did. The truth is that I don't wish to lose Ginny, or her friends, as my friends. Luna is a dear, and she is my greatest friend in the world, but she's also been my only good friend for the past four years. I think having something fun to do on Fridays has been wonderful for both Luna and I.

Ginny is kind enough, I'm sure she'll understand.

Hopefully.

10/17/1996

I'm in History of Magic now, and I've only glanced at him a few times, but I haven't lingered once. Nor have I spoken to him.

10/17/1996 (later)

I've just returned from taking a walk on the grounds with Ginny. I planned to do that last night, but I didn't run into her until Charms this morning. She said that she understood, and was actually quite sympathetic. She also said not to feel badly because she had completely moved on the moment she learned what a sour loser he was after Ravenclaw lost the quidditch match last year. I just wish that I had learned all of this earlier.

Anyway, I need to get to sleep if I want to be awake for a Potions exam tomorrow, good night, Diary.

10/18/1996

I am now officially failing Potions.

10/19/1996

It's Friday, and I intend to spend my afternoon and early evening by the lake as I normally would. I shouldn't be so cool toward Corner, but nothing else feels quite as satisfying. Except, perhaps, murder.

But Ginny has agreed to help me fly today, and I really am looking forward to it.

10/19/1996 (later)

I made a score with the quaffle on the REAL quidditch field! I have hardly ever been so overjoyed.

Michael Corner saw it too, I believe.

10/23/1996

I have decided that my future career path must not involve Potions. I shall never pass. I always hoped that it was simply because of Professor Snape, but now that Professor Slughorn has taken over, I still seem to be just under satisfactory. Add to that that Snape now teaches Defense against the Dark Arts, a class I used to enjoy, and I now have two miserable subjects.

Actually I'm not really sure what I wish to me. I used to fantasize about being an auror, but I think I would be terrified if I ever had to confront a real Death Eater. Perhaps I could be a nurse, or even better perhaps I could cure animals. I honestly haven't the slightest idea.

The fifth years will be having career meetings sometime in the next month or so, so perhaps I will see if Professor Flitwick has any suggestions.

10/25/1996

I thought that I could make myself completely forget about Michael Corner, but as the first Hogsmeade weekend draws closer, I find myself dreading it. Perhaps I can do a great deal of studying for Transfigurations, and transform my sister into a toadstool. Yes, I believe that will do.

Better yet, perhaps I won't go at all.

10/27/1996

It's early Saturday, and I'm about to dress for Hogsmead, which I am going to simply because Ginny and Luna wont stop urging me to do so. However, I am not going to go plainly. This is one of my few opportunities to wear something other than my Hogwarts robes, and for once, I do want to take advantage of that.

I am going to wash and then comb my hair perfectly so that it brings out the richest brown that I could possibly get it to, and I am going to wear blue jeans with a bottle green sweater that matches perfectly with my eyes. And still I know that it will never be enough, but for once, I want to feel that I am something close to as worthy as my sister.

10/27/1996 (later)

Alright, I'm dressed and I actually look presentable. I almost put on makeup before seeing Luna's exasperated expression.

Luna does wear exasperation well for her usually dreamy face. Anyway, she thinks that I'm only up getting my shoes right now, so I should be going, but I shall bring you with me.

Wish me luck, Diary.

10/27/1996 (later)

The town does look splendid, it is decorated very festively for Halloween. We already stopped into Honeyduke's and picked out a vast assortment of chocolate frogs, pumpkin pasties and the like, and now Luna, Ginny, Dean, Neville Longbottom (a Gryffindor) and I have all piled into a booth at the Three Broomsticks for butterbeer. I have stolen away to the loo to write this until our drinks our ready. The only stab I've felt so far was when I first saw Michael Corner and Cecily Ambre, her hair blonde and perfectly curled today, heading up to Madame Pudifoot's. Still, by the way he glanced over at me on his way up the hill, the giddy feeling in my stomach tells me that he would much rather have been turning into the three broomsticks with us.

10/27/1996 (later still)

Diary, I had a wonderful day today, I really did. Corner was nothing more than a silly little crush, and already I've almost entirely forgotten about him.

Beside, Neville Longbottom does seem like a nice boy.

10/29/1996

I just ran into Ginny on my way to the Library, and she said that Michael Corner wishes to speak to me. He asks that I meet him by the front entrance at about 3 o'clock this afternoon. I honestly don't know if I want to see him or not.

10/29/1996

He likes me. As in, he genuinely likes me. As in, even despite my sister.

I bet Madame Puddifoot's was too frilly for him.

He also asked that I attend a Halloween party that his friends are having in one of the dungeons on Friday night.

I am so excited!

10/29/1996 (later)

He sat next to me at dinner tonight. Cecily Ambre looked particularly venomous, despite the enthusiastic attention that she was getting from Harry and Ron. Ginny threw a sympathetic glance over her shoulder at Hermione, and her eyes lingered on the scene for a moment. When she turned back, however, I could not mistake a gleam of sadness in her eyes, and I desperately hope that it is not related to Michael and myself.

10/30/1996

History of Magic is exciting again. I can't wait for the Halloween party, I am debating whether I should dress up at all.

10/31/1996

The party just ended, and it was very fun! A lot of the Gryffindor boys were there, as well as a few people from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and even a few ghosts! That, and I believe Michael and I are officially considered a couple. He even held my hand occasionally at the party.

Diary, this has been one of the happiest days I've had in a long while.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Hogwarts, the other characters, etc. Somehow, I doubt that is going to change.**

11/2/1996

Leanord's little sister was killed by Fenrir Greyback, the werewolf, last night. He is such a sweet boy, but he's done nothing but stare despairingly into the common room fireplace all morning. His parents will not be able to gather him until this evening, and I fear that it looks like it will be a very long day for him.

It's terrible, but I feel like this war is imposing on my happiness. I've indirectly known a few other people who have been killed already, but seeing Leanord's face has sent the brutality of war crashing down on me.

History of Magic is nearly finished, after class I shall continue with Michael down to lunch. Certainly that shall put me into a better mood.

Gosh, I am a selfish prat.

11/2/1996 (later)

Even though word has not spread to the rest of the school about the murder, (it is a sad truth, but they are becoming more and more frequent) Cecily Ambre seems to have heard. In fact, she was so deeply moved by Leanord's loss that she can be seen about the school, sobbing into the arms of no other than Harry Potter.

That girl does have an uncanny intuition for when to wear water-proof mascara.

Ginny seems a bit upset and I wonder if she's had a row with Dean. She claims she hasn't, but I don't know what else could be the matter.

11/9/1996

Diary, I am so sorry for having gone a week without writing in you, I have been rather busy.

Cecily Ambre now plays for the Gryffindor quidditch team, I forgot which position, so probably all of them. Apparently she showed Harry, the team captain a bit of her flying (one only wonders how she coaxed him out to the grounds while no one else was around) and he practically begged her to join without an audition.

My sister aside, things are going rather well I suppose. It is raining and we seem to be approaching the doldrums of the year.

I cannot wait until Christmas.

11/11/1996

I have never been so glad to see a Friday. Unfortunately it's still quite dreary out so it sounds as if Michael, Luna and I shall be holed up in the common room alongside the rest of the house for the evening.

I'm sure someone has Exploding Snap.

11/16/1996

I've just returned from my career discussion meeting with professor Flitwick, and he came up with the most wonderful idea! He suggested that since he sees me writing so much (usually in class, oops) that I work as a journalist for the _Daily Prophet!_ That way, I could report on, and raise awareness about the war without getting to frighteningly involved.

He said that he could probably even swing an internship for me over the summer. I'm going to write my parents immediately, they are going to be so proud!

11/17/1996

Apparently Professor Mc-something (I can't spell her name, alright?) told Cecily Ambre that she has the makings of a good auror, what with her excellent marks in…everything.

I suppose she would favor her since Cecily is so wonderful with transfiguration. Of course, being born an animagus would help with that.

11/19/1996

Ginny had a bit of an interesting mishap today. Apparently she and Dean were snogging in some deserted corridor when they were barged in on by Harry and Ginny's brother. I can only imagine how red her brother turned, and that wouldn't be straying much from his normal state of existence.

11/22/1996

Apparently Ron Weasley has a girlfriend. The two are practically inseparable, and I don't mean at the hand. They're constantly snogging all over the dining table. Cecily looked like murder, and I'm almost certain that she will do something to sabotage the two.

Ginny is none too pleased about it, and she says that Hermione is terribly upset about it. Apparently Hermione has fancied Ron for quite some time, and she just walked into the common room one evening to find him wrapped around Lavender Brown.

With Lavender wrapped round Ron, and Cecily Ambre still all over Harry Potter, it's no wonder that Hermione does not look happy.

11/25/1996

The weather is still as dreary as ever. If it weren't for Michael, Fridays would have become very depressing some weeks ago.

Off for another round of chess, I suppose.

11/26/1996

Poor Cecily, all this dreary weather is making her hair curl, and of course her skin isn't getting enough sunlight. Poor, poor thing, up in a tower all night with only the Gryffindor boys to comfort her.

It's a wonder that we would be allowed outside at all even if it wasn't raining with the way this war had been going. It was difficult to ignore with unexplained muggle deaths showing up on the news all summer, but over here it's right near impossible.

The numbers are growing. I may not even be able to read the _Daily Prophet_ much longer.

11/28/1996

Homework. Loads of it. It looks like I've another full week of sleep deprivation ahead of me.

Professor Slughorn has been holding these sporadic parties, that apparently Ginny has been invited to attend. I don't much care for professor Slughorn, but I secretly wish I was invited as well, it would give me something to do at the least.

Michael and I have been together for almost a month. I'm so glad that he's here, if I'm this depressed with him, I can't imagine how dreadful life would be without him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry. Also, I should warn you (after five chapters, hah) that some of this is rather sappy and perhaps annoying. You have my apologies.**

12/1/1996

Friday again, Cecily Ambre is talking of having a lovely party next Friday, so that perhaps it might not be so dreadful. She just wants desperately for everyone to be happy and enjoy themselves, and she thinks that the efforts could close the breach between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins. All that it would take is some dedicated effort, and she's sure that she could be the one to do it. As long as she doesn't break any perfectly polished nails in the process, of course.

Poor thing, she's been freezing now that it's been December for half a day. She has probably collected the Gryffindor Jackets of all the boys in her class by now.

12/3/1996

Diary, it's terrible! Professor Dumbledore just called my sister and I into his office, our Aunt and Uncle have just been killed by Death Eaters. I'm so angry I could scream and not give a damn who I wake up. I'm to be packing and returning home immediately via floo powder.

This absolutely can not be happening. I'm still in tears. But by the time we left the office Cecily had composed herself into stoic poise. She didn't need to say anything, some of the boys were so worried about her that they listened at the door of Dumbledore's office and awaited her when she emerged. She tried to choke back tears, she honestly did, but with those big arms around her she finally felt that she could cry.

I doubt she even cares about what has happened to our aunt and uncle and who is responsible for it. As for me, I'll not die until I see that the bastards that did it are put to death.

I need revenge. Need it, crave it more than I've ever craved anything in my life.

I'll not be satisfied with being a simple reporter anymore, I need to fight even if I'll loose my life in the first battle.

Rage is far more persuasive than fear.

12/3/1996 (later)

I'm home now diary, and I'm so lost. So, so lost.

12/4/1996

When I awoke this morning I already had owls from Luna and Michael. I hardly said good bye to them, but it's times like these that I appreciate them more than ever.

It's hard to be so far away from my only source of comfort. Save for you, Diary.

12/4/1996 (later)

Mum's a mess, and who could blame her. We're all a mess. Cecily is an especially pretty mess.

The funeral is going to be on Wednesday, and already I don't know if I can face it. This war is the bloodiest mess ever and I hardly know who to get revenge against. I pray that whoever did it will get what they deserve.

There is never a time to kill.

12/5/1996

It's Tuesday, and already a flock of boys from the school have flown in to comfort Cecily Ambre; because it's not as if mum might need her or anything.

Well, if I had to kill someone I think I would choose her. Can she really not think of anything but flirting away while her family is grieving? She goes about being so terribly affected, collecting sympathy from everyone, perfectly composed all the while.

12/6/1996

Diary, it's about 4 a.m. on the morning of the funeral and there's no chance that I'll be falling back to sleep anytime soon. I can hardly move. I want this all to go away. This big whirling mess of blood and despair to just vanish before I have to comprehend what's going on around me. When I don't think about it, it's not so bad. It's so easy to become numb. But then I pass a photograph of my aunt or remember my uncle whittling away a wooden statue of an owl for me and I just loose it.

If I can't stand a simple photograph, how am I to endure the ceremony today?

Oh, God, please give me strength. Give me serenity and give me wisdom. I have faith and I shall carry on with my face toward the Heavens.

But please, God, give me courage.

12/6/1996 (later)

The priest is speaking. I'm holding on, I suppose.

12/6/1996 (later)

Alright, well Diary, here I am and it doesnt seem like I'm hlding on all that wel. Pleas pardon my writing Diary I can hardly see throuh the tears. I cant take it! An theres nothng I can do to make it stop! I am such a slimy git, at a cermony an all I can do is burry myself behin the mausoleum.

This is almost humiliating, Michael and Luna came to be here for me, which I did not expect (I had begun to think people only did that for my sister.) It is so very sweet of them, but I don't think I can go back out there, Diary. I just can't.

Alright, it's time for me to go out there and pretend to be all warm and comforting like the rest of the world now.

12/6/1996 (later)

I survived, Diary, I don't think I could do it again, but I survived.

12/7/1996

Mum still hasn't recovered from the doldrums, but I feel like it's all really starting to sink in.

Dear Lord, hear my prayer, my aunt and uncle were wonderful people who led lives of compassion and never strayed from your word. I know that you would not have brought them home if they were not ready. I just pray that you will take care of them.

12/8/1996

Tomorrow Cecily Ambre, the Gryffindor boys and I will be returning to the school. I don't know if I'm quite ready to return, but to be entirely honest I think it will get better once I get back to normal life. My aunt and uncle are with God now, and I know that he will watch over the rest of my family.

12/9/1996

I'm back at Hogwarts, and it has been comforting to be back with my friends in my common room where I can feel so far away from everything. I squeezed mum tighter than normal before I left, and reminded her that I would be back for Christmas holiday.

12/10/1996

I spent nearly the entire day with Michael today, and I realized how much I have missed him. It is rather unnerving, relying on a single source of comfort, just a giddy infatuation to get through everything.

12/11/1996

I think Cecily Ambre is happy to be back. I caught her snogging some boy named Smith in a corridor today. How quickly she seems to move on.

12/13/1996

Catching up on all the work that I missed has been a nightmare. I did get to see Ginny today, she sent me a ton of owls but her mother was too worried about her to let her leave the school.

Apparently Ron has still been wrapped around Lavender Brown all over the place, which must have been lovely for Ginny. She doesn't seem to like Cecily Ambre one bit, and while that is not an uncommon reaction from other girls, I wasn't aware that she had ever spoken to her. Then again Cecily is in Ginny's house, God knows why.

12/15/1996

It's snowing! I've not felt this happy for a while. Who would have thought that frozen bits of water plummeting out of the sky could bring me more cheer than a thousand sympathy cards?

It's even lifting Ginny's spirits some, and that is saying something. I keep trying to ask her what the matter is, but she keeps shaking that bright red head of hers and says it's nothing. She has assured me that it's nothing to do with Michael, though.

We're heading out to the grounds for a sort of mock snow war, it should be bloody brilliant!

12/17/1996

Alright, now how does Cecily manage to miss a week of school and still receive perfect marks? I was under the impression that she spent more time snogging than studying. Perhaps if she snogs the smarter boys, it could just be osmosis.

12/19/1996

Diary, you will never guess what has just happened! I would never have guessed what just happened.

Luna just returned to the common room and said that she was invited to go to Slughorn's Christmas party…With Harry Potter! She claims it's just as friends, but what boy asks a girl to a party if he really only likes her as a friend?

It's odd because I didn't know she even knew him. I'm almost always with Luna and I've never spoken to Harry in my life. Though I suppose it would be fascinating to speak to him.

I don't know which I'm more excited to see; Luna get all dolled up and leave for the party with Harry this Friday, or Cecily Ambre's expression when she sees.

Luna is letting me dress her up on Friday, I don't exactly have impeccable fashion sense, but it should be loads of fun all the same.

Why is it that both Luna and Ginny seem to know Harry so well but I don't? I always knew that Ginny's brother was best friends with Harry, so that makes sense, but Luna?

12/20/1996

Typical. Luna is now terribly frightened to go to the party with Harry. Apparently Cecily Ambre cornered her after her Herbology class and insisted that Luna would not enjoy the party, and it would generate loads of gossip if Luna went with Harry. My sister, I swear, is of the purest form of evil. She has every boy in her class and she intends to keep it that way.

Anyway, I'm off to continue to convince Luna that under no circumstances is she to back out of this party. I'm sure Harry wouldn't have asked her if he didn't like her, and even so she'll have plenty of fun with him if she attends as friends. Beside, it's not as if Cecily Ambre does not have enough gossip about her.

12/21/1996

I'm not going home for Christmas! I've just gotten a letter from Mum and Dad, and apparently they will be helping the ministry sort through what's left of my aunt and uncle's house for clues. Such a cheery thing to do over Christmas!

Hogwarts is always fun, but I've never stayed here through vacation before. I don't know how it shall be with everyone leaving on Saturday morning and me left alone with…Cecily. Uggh. Please don't tell me she's staying too. Can't she go with them and help in the search, you know, make sure nobody is poisoned or cursed or something by being a human buffer?

12/21/1996 (later)

Michael has just written home saying that he needs to stay at the school over Christmas break so that he can study for OWLs. It's so sweet that he would do that just so he could keep me company.

12/22/1996

I'm in Transfigurations, last class of the day! As soon is class is out it's off to doll up Luna for the party. Ginny said she would help if it weren't for the fact that she couldn't get into our common room. Oddly enough though, she seems to be avoiding Luna today. Perhaps I'm imagining it, because I don't know what Ginny could possibly have against Luna.

12/22/1996 (later)

I've just sent Luna off, she looks wonderful! Honestly Diary, I never knew that Luna could look so lovely. We dug out her light, aquamarine dress robes and brushed out her hair, which is light blonde and really quite silky. I managed to convince her to leave certain bits out of her outfit that most people see as a bit…unconventional (like her specktrospeks and her butterbeer bottle cork necklace). And we borrowed these bangle bracelets from Padma that Luna now has lined up and down her arms. She really is lovely.

Now let's just hope my sister doesn't ruin it.

12/23/1996

It's very early in the morning, and Luna only just got back a few hours ago. She said she had a lovely time, that Harry was quite kind (though that was all she said about him) and that she enjoyed all of the guests, including a real vampire named Sanguini. I am happy that she enjoyed herself, especially because loads of girls will probably start to hate her now, my sister included.

It is rather depressing knowing that everyone is leaving today. Luna is going to France with her Dad for the week, and Ginny is going home with her family and friends. At least Michael will be staying here. Oh, and my sister, of course.

12/23/1996 (later)

Ginny was at the party too, and she tells me that Cecily Ambre was glaring at Luna all night. I really could kill my sister, why does she have to try and ruin my friend's happiness?

12/24/1996

Cecily talked to me today (I suppose because there was no one else to talk to as they had all left). She seemed quite upset.

She was almost in tears actually, she said that she's fancied Harry all year. That part was obvious, I thought. She said that she has no idea how to convince him to see her as "serious." Quit falling all over him (and everyone else), I thought. She went on for a while, and I really did start to feel sorry for her, put my arm around her shoulder and everything, as a normal sister would. But then, every stupid stunt she's pulled started floating back into my mind and I couldn't push any of it out. I thought of Michael Corner earlier this year. I thought of her all over Ron right in front of his little sister. I thought of her trying to ruin a perfect evening for my best friend. Suddenly any sympathy that I was trying to show for her faded away, and I stood up and said "well why don't you just try a love potion, you big fool, you are mortal like the rest of us."

I expected an angry retort, but she had none. She just looked tearfully up at me, obviously hurt. Then I left, too ashamed to stay.

I know that sisters are not always kind to each other, but I always hoped that I was above that. What I've done to her pales in comparison to the Hell she's caused for me, but still I should never have hurt her so deeply. It is Christmas Eve and she's the only family that I have to spend it with.

I'll have to make up with her today, or I'll never sleep well this evening.

12/24/1996 (later)

I spoke to her and she said that she understood. Now that I've apologized I don't feel terribly guilty, given how much she's done to me, and it seems as if it will blow over fairly well. As for now I'm off to the common room again to be with Michael, as we're the only Ravenclaws here and I'm sure that he didn't stay with me to stare into the fire alone all day.

This winter season does seem to be improving my chess strategies.

12/24/1996 (later)

Actually I'm rather enjoying Hogwarts over break. The feast this evening was wonderful, though it only consisted of about a total of ten students and the staff. Cecily Ambre seems to have found a seventh year Gryffindor boy to swoon over her, and Michael and I have been building an elaborate snow fort out on the grounds.

This is a splendid Christmas Eve, though I do wish I could share it with my family.

I shall say a long prayer for my aunt and uncle tonight.

12/25/1996

Merry Christmas!

I've just finishing opening the packages at the foot of my bed. I've gotten a beautiful quill from Mum and Dad, a…powderpuff? Or something like that from Cecily, various chocolates and something intriguing (I've no idea what it is) from Luna. Perhaps my favorite is a beautiful, golden heart necklace, you can guess who that was from. I was so excited that I turned to show it to Luna, before remembering that she wasn't there. Still, I shall go downstairs to see Michael, I hope that he liked his present as well.

Perhaps I'll even check in on my sister, make sure that the Gryffindor boy is pampering her well enough.

12/26/1996

Christmas was lovely, and my parents gave the investigation a rest so that they might enjoy theirs as well. Admittedly, they said it was a bit lonely. It's still snowing beautifully here, and Michael convinced some of the house elves to let us have cocoa from the kitchens. Time for another cozy day now, and I hope yours is as well, Diary.

12/28/1996

The year is almost over! It shall take me forever to become accustomed to writing "1997."

12/30/1996

I hate free time, I've practically been clinging to Michael. I hate being alone, or having nothing to do, because then I let my mind wander. I've been trying very hard not to think of my mother and father rummaging through the devastation that once smelled of Aunt Nessie's cookies. I really miss her, and Uncle Rupert as well. Sometimes I can push them out of my mind, but sometimes their faces are projected onto each of my eyelids, clear as glass, and I can hardly bare it.

12/31/1996

It's New Year's Eve! Those of us who are here over Holiday are meeting down in the great hall at 11:30 to welcome the new year in. However small, it should be a splendid party!


End file.
